I love Metafilter

I know they get some of their links from other blogs but I think MeFi is the best blog going. whenever I need a laugh, I just hit MeFi and I always find a gem. this next piece was from someone's response to a post about Animal Dildos. the writer thought Molatar would get a kick out of the Dragon Dildo. So of course I had to check out this site.

this guy thinks he is a Dragon. He also thinks he can change shape at will thru the power of Christian prayer. ok. this is from his "P-Shift" page that goes thru very detailed steps to achieve a 'p-shift' of your own.

In case you DO shift your shape, you will have expenses to pay for. You should be saving money RIGHT NOW in a mutual fund.

You will need money for tailored clothes, alterations to your vehicle (because humans designed the seats for tailless bottoms), a good veterinarian (this is not a joke, I'm serious, GOOD vets cost ALOT), a lawyer to protect you from humans who hate the sight of you, new ID cards (driver's license, health cards, that sort of thing), change of name documentation, and other mundane but necessary things like dog toothpaste (because human toothpaste has detergents that cause animals to froth at the mouth), pin brushes, pet nail clippers, medieval swords, that kind of thing.

Another thing concern is this mythical army that wants to capture and dissect P-shifters for weapons experimentation (insert raucous sarcastic laughter here). But just in case its true, you'd be best to save up extra funds for a defensible hideout in the wilderness (rocky hills and swamps are best, don't get waterfront because its too expensive), a year's supply of canned goods, and plenty of ammo. If you get a nice rugged piece of land, call me and I can suggest some fortifications to build.

there is some facinating stuff on this guy's site. I'm especially fond of the FAQ section that talks about going into "A berserk state is a mental condition where a person feels exhilarated, excited, confident, and powerful to the extreme." I hope this guy never attacks someone in real life, because this website is enough to lock him up in a padded room. check this out:

Entering a berserk state is not easy. The easiest and safest way would be to take a walk down a lonely trail in a city park. I prefer city parks because there is a chance of seeing criminals and thus I can get more easily frightened. Country trails have the advantage of greater privacy, connection with nature, and deadly black bears. Walk slowly and take in whatever scenery the moon reveals. Imagine all the wild beasts lurking in the darkness just beyond the bushes. Imagine who might walk past you when you turn that corner. Imagine what spirits may be accompanying you down the trail. Once you are sufficiently creeped out, dart in a straight line into the woods. Don't make a mental map. Feeling lost adds to the atmosphere. But don't go in too far because you want to be able to find your way back. Now that you are in the deep woods, stop where you are and take in the scenery again. Your heart is racing. When you get the impulse, suddenly start praying for a shape-shift. Imagine that there is nothing stopping you from receiving a shift. Allow your body to take on whatever postures you allow it. You'll now find yourself 'transforming' into the animal you wish to be. The reason you need absolute privacy is both to avoid distraction and to protect other people, just in case you are the type of person who freaks out during shifts. Heed this warning: If you are the sort of person who can't control a berserk state, don't try this. Also, dress appropriately and equip yourself for the journey, in case you DO become lost. Try not to enter ruined structures in case they collapse. Oh, and one other thing: Avoid haunted areas for going berserk in. Ghosts are very real and like their privacy.

not only does Molatar look out for ghosts, he also looks out for you! if you would like to keep the demonic forces away from you and your family, you sould heed the following:

And while you're at it, if you have any souvenirs from other countries that pertain to pagan cultures (idols, Buddha statues, pieces of old temples, paraphernalia used in pagan worship, Geisha girls, Hawaiian leis, T-shirts depicting dragons, etc), get rid of them too. As long as you have such things in your house, they will be a center of demonic power in your home.

I don't know about you, but this is the first I've heard that Hawaiian leis could become the 'centers of demonic power.' I've got to get back to reading the truth on his site. Enjoy!